Three Principles of Brain Washing
1) REPETITION - Going through the same subject over and over again.
Yes I get it! Christmas is a ticking time bomb and if I don't buy SOMETHING for EVERYONE I know by 6 pm December 24th .... it WILL blow up in my face!
2) PEDAGOGICS - The subjects are never left alone nor give any private time to contemplate the information they are receiving.
Yep the only place I can get away from the Christmas holocaust is in the bathroom. TV,Radio,internet,mailbox,newspaper,buses,billboards,banners, neighbors houses, complete strangers houses, text,telephone and a few I'm sure I haven't mentioned........ I cant get away from it. I'm being swarmed by christmas like an attack of killer bees!
3) CRITICISM- The subjects are supposed to feel uncertain; under the constant threat of being humiliated and despised.
1. There is nothing I can give my mother for under $20,000 that will make her feel loved or appropriately gifted. I am a bad daughter!
2. I must spend at least $2,000 on a gift for my husband or he will leave me for a younger more appreciative woman who knows how to shop.
3. I must spend $400 on each child I have birthed or they will do drugs or join a cult...or do drugs AND join a cult and they will NOT be there for me in my old age.
4. Brothers ,sisters, nieces, nephews: I must give them each a $100 dollar gift card to ensure they will at least THINK about me through the upcoming year.
5. Friends.... There is a scale here....If they have seen me cry and throw a temper fit... $50
If they have seen me cry,throw a temper fit, throw up ...$60
If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed ... $75
If they have have seen me cry, throw a temper fit,throw up, unwashed, bleed .. $100
If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed, bleed , naked...$125
If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed, bleed, and naked ALL at the same time.... that will cost me $200 a year!
Casual acquaintances who I see regularly, but behave around....$20
Any one I meet for the first time during the holiday season......$10
If I don't follow these prescribed pricing rules.... I will, for one full year, be shunned like an amish slut!
18 months of therapy wasn't therapy.... It was de-programming!
1) REPETITION - Going through the same subject over and over again.
Yes I get it! Christmas is a ticking time bomb and if I don't buy SOMETHING for EVERYONE I know by 6 pm December 24th .... it WILL blow up in my face!
2) PEDAGOGICS - The subjects are never left alone nor give any private time to contemplate the information they are receiving.
Yep the only place I can get away from the Christmas holocaust is in the bathroom. TV,Radio,internet,mailbox,newspaper,buses,billboards,banners, neighbors houses, complete strangers houses, text,telephone and a few I'm sure I haven't mentioned........ I cant get away from it. I'm being swarmed by christmas like an attack of killer bees!
3) CRITICISM- The subjects are supposed to feel uncertain; under the constant threat of being humiliated and despised.
1. There is nothing I can give my mother for under $20,000 that will make her feel loved or appropriately gifted. I am a bad daughter!
2. I must spend at least $2,000 on a gift for my husband or he will leave me for a younger more appreciative woman who knows how to shop.
3. I must spend $400 on each child I have birthed or they will do drugs or join a cult...or do drugs AND join a cult and they will NOT be there for me in my old age.
4. Brothers ,sisters, nieces, nephews: I must give them each a $100 dollar gift card to ensure they will at least THINK about me through the upcoming year.
5. Friends.... There is a scale here....If they have seen me cry and throw a temper fit... $50
If they have seen me cry,throw a temper fit, throw up ...$60
If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed ... $75
If they have have seen me cry, throw a temper fit,throw up, unwashed, bleed .. $100
If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed, bleed , naked...$125
If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed, bleed, and naked ALL at the same time.... that will cost me $200 a year!
Casual acquaintances who I see regularly, but behave around....$20
Any one I meet for the first time during the holiday season......$10
If I don't follow these prescribed pricing rules.... I will, for one full year, be shunned like an amish slut!
18 months of therapy wasn't therapy.... It was de-programming!
$200? That's a lot of soap, baby! I'll be clean for a year!!!!!
ReplyDelete"If they have seen me cry, throw a temper fit, throw up, unwashed, bleed, and naked ALL at the same time.... that will cost me $200 a year!"
ReplyDeleteLook, I say that in itself is worth $200 bucks--they should be paying YOU! Chillax! All I want from you for Xmas is you and your company. I'll bring the booze and crackers and cheese :) Deal?
O little town of great mayhem
ReplyDeletehow full we see thee lie
upon this deft and souless scheme
the charge cards they do fly....
We love the holidays here, too!
Penny