Monday, December 27, 2010

zombie apocalypse survival kit, night vision monocular, rat poison, homemade body bag, Alien wars in our atmosphere, UFO detente

Okey dokey!  I'm back and relatively ok..... post holiday season.   But from now on I will no longer refer to christmas as  'christmas'.  One of my favorite bloggers  has dubbed the whole season chrisoween.  George over at http://urbansurvival.com/week.htm can be a real hoot sometimes. 
Jimmy was the hero this season.  Now to tell you a little about Jimmy.... He is  regularly a crabby old man.  He was 23 going on 55 when we started dated dating.  His response to anything new is to be cranky, suspicious and acerbic.   He enjoys complaining almost as much as my mother does. But he hates it when I exhibit the same traits.  When my world goes awry enough for me to me to start talking about putting rat poison out for the neighbors or digging a hole in the back yard and moving into it. ...... He switches into damage control mode.  This holiday season was such a time.  So Jimmy...my dearest love and heart of hearts.... searched the world over (our part of it anyway) to find the perfect gift to show me that if I bow to the prevailing  social paradigm and bend just a little... that Santa will bring me something nice.   In my stocking chrisoween morning was a  gleaming black night vision monocular that he finally found at a pawn shop. Why this particular item?  Because for the last two years I have been reading (on the net of course) about the UFO battles going on over our heads that can only be seen with night vision goggles.    Pure silliness...... I know.  But his plan worked.... I found myself on chrisoween morning  giggling like a 7 year old.   And I can say it was probably the first time since I was 7 that I ran outside in my pajamas on a Christmas morning to play with a toy Santa brought me. (it was 6 am and  an hour before sunrise, so still dark enough to play with it).   Just an FYI, the aliens above us must have been enjoying a yule ceasefire...... cuz I didn't see anything. But still ...sooooo....coolll!
What did I get Jimmy to show my love for him?  I made him up a Zombie Apocalypse  Survival Kit. It included a pickax, wind up radio/flashlight, magnesium fire starter, body bag and many more items of that ilk. He ,of course, insisted on trying on the body bag I made and then got stuck in it.  I can only imagine what  the Gladyse Cravitze  down the street was thinking as she peeked through her curtains at the two nutjobs on the corner running around the front lawn in a body bag  looking at the pre dawn sky and  laughing like maniacs.  Considering some of the other silliness Jimmy and I get up too ....She might be justified in thinking the crazy people on the corner bear watching.......for every ones safety!    

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