Sunday, July 19, 2009

From the skinny well- fed people in my house to the plump, not quite full , people in your house,
Best diet ever…. For free…… no consultation fees, no hardback , overpriced book. No self discipline needed. Eat till your full. This diet will make you look and feel great. Follow these rules and with a little bit of exercise the weight will come off without even trying.

GOLDEN RULE: If its not real, don’t eat it.

1.Eat no corporate food. This is a simple rule, simply refuse to eat anything produced by a corporation . I would give you a sample list but I don’t want to get sued, But it includes fast food, ’family’ restaurants, and processed foods in the grocery store. If you are reading this I’m guessing you are smart enough to figure it out on your own.
2. Do all your shopping on the outside of the aisles (This puts meat, produce , dairy and the bakery in your basket first.
3.No processed foods (I.e. easy cheese, hamburger helper, soup from a can, )
4. If it says low-fat, diet, low carb, sugar free, lite, light, or any version of a modified real product designed for fat people only….TREAT IT LIKE POISON……cuz it is.
5. 3 meals a day, Good breakfast, with eggs, bacon (yes you can have a slice or two of bacon on this diet and jam on your toast) If you are a cereal person (keep it to real oatmeal, malto meal or shredded wheat)….include fruit with your breakfast and some juice. Try to make your big meal of the day lunch and then have a light supper.
6. Cut your meat portions in half. Double or even triple your vegetable portions.
7. Substitute carrots, squash, turnips, etc 3 or 4 times a week for rice, potatoes and pasta . (you don’t have to give up R,P,P….just vary things a little)
8 Throw out the margarine and butter substitutes…….
9 Get yourself some real butter and Olive oil. SEE GOLDEN RULE ABOVE
10. Add some sort of pickled foods to your diet…beats, cucumbers, peppers etc (just a few bites of these help to process the fatty foods better)
11.Stay away from the chip and soda aisle …..except for parties and special events ( lets be reasonable here)
12 Add red wine to your evening meal…. It helps the digestion, kills any stray bugs that might have survived the preparation process and helps you get a good nights sleep.
13. If it wasn’t available to your great-great-great grandmother……don’t eat it.
14. Be reasonable and use your critical thinking skills….mayonnaise and mustard are ok…..Fat free ranch dressing is not . Dried pasta is ok….. Pasta in a can …is not. If it is microwaveable or ready to eat…..its not ok. Cheese is good……. Unless it says K#@*t. You are smart….You get the point….I don’t need to drive it home and beat you over the head with endless lists!
The above 13 are the basic rules and now here are some suggestions…. If you can reasonably fit them into your lifestyle……
1. If you can make it yourself….do….vinegar, bread, wine, jams, pickles, Anything you can make yourself is healthier than commercially produced….. Anytime. If you have a backyard you can throw a couple of chickens into …do . Your own chickens will produce a much more nutritious egg.
2. Don’t overcook your veggies.
3. Put in a small vegetable garden with lettuce, ‘other’ greens and onions. (you can put in other stuff as well but lettuce onions and ‘other’ greens will grow most of the year and they are easy…requiring nothing more than throwing some seeds in the dirt. You will always have a salad handy (no aging, wilting lettuce in the fridge) and gardening is good exercise and can be very Zen. Oh yeah and in the season when everyone else is paying extortionist prices for ‘fresh’ greens ……you are saving money and getting a better nutritional product..
4. Try to make at least one meal a day a relaxed , enjoyable experience…….(if once a day doesn’t work…… try at least once a week)
5. Try a French dinner once in a while ( wine bread, cheese, salami, sliced fruit and a raw vegetable with a small bowl of balsamic vinegar and olive oil for dipping)……..A great ‘supper’ and very romantic if eaten in front of the fire with your favorite squeeze. Its gastrointestinaley gentle should you choose a lustful conclusion to your evening .
6. Once you make the initial change over to this healthy and fulfilling diet (it will take about 30 days)……STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR DIET! Quit thinking of food as your enemy. If you eat real food….it will be your friend….
7. Bake, broil, grill, sauté’ roast, steam as much of your food as you can…Try to limit the fried foods. No need to eliminate them…..just control them. (My friends and family love chicken-fried-steak Sunday)
8. If a recipe calls for “add a can of cream of mushroom soup” Toss the recipe.
9. If you can find a cook book by Ida Bailey Allen……….This woman should have a statue erected in her honor. Her paragraph on how commercial preservatives are poison ( written in 1924)is a priceless read!
10.Get out of the house….Go for a walk, go bowling…Hang out on the corner and talk to friends but ……get out of the house!.
12. Turn off the TV and computer
13. Get involved in your community………..Local theater, jam night at the local pub, game night at the rec center or something ,maybe, noble like raising funds for a food bank or homeless shelter.
14. I realize this next one is a Herculean and possibly Sisyphean task…….But ….try to limit your exposure to advertising…….. Commercials bombard us with constant criticism….They tell you , you are fat, ugly, smelly, sick, have bad hair, bad skin, bad taste, bad breath, bad social habits, and the list goes on……. If we lived with a spouse, friend, parent or anyone else that made us feel this bad about ourselves or said so many nasty things about us in one day or tried to force us to do everything their way….. …..We would run away screaming or kill them or ourselves. So why passively allow this crap into our lives. If for some reason you can’t limit your exposure….at least make a point to become aware of when they are doing it. And then try to become defensive. Boycott any product that makes you feel in the tiniest bit lacking. ( you will find that when images of food aren’t in your face all day ….the urge to graze will just go away naturally)
15. Get a hobby……. doesn’t matter what it is…….just start doing something you enjoy………
16. Realize that you are the only one you can control…and leave everyone else to their own devices……Yes this includes your family. And don’t let them control you. (This rule should be heavily modified if you have teens in the house…..and if you have teens in the house……God…..I’m so sorry!)
17. Get angry about what has been done to you by corporate food producers and fight back by NOT giving them your money.
18. For the exercise part of this diet……It doesn’t mean joining a health club. A walk after dinner, parking at the back of the parking lot…..gardening, a hobby…..anything where you are moving around will do. (my great grandmother sat in a rocking chair every evening…..When she died at almost a hundred she had legs that a Hollywood starlet would kill for and an almost flat belly.) A bicycle ride or bowling or softball or archery or yoga or some other form of classic exercise will indeed take any excess weight off faster….. But if you are not the ‘sporty’ type….don’t worry about it. Especially if you have a labor intensive day job.

So….There ya go…..Basic rules…some added suggestions and a little psych advice and some common sense. No hype to sell a book or specialty foods……. just a really good diet that gets healthy results. Bon appetite!

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