H3N2

GYAH!  My whole January was a waste. Thank you H3N2.   I haven't suffered from  anything  worse than a minor cold in  20 years so  this was surprising and  devastating.  I spent the first week of  this god awful flu  afraid I was going to die and last  two weeks of it  afraid that I wouldn't.  It  went on  and on and on.  My voice still isn't back to normal and I've had to turn down voice over auditions  because of it.  I just want my life  to get back to normal. 
Jimmy  skipped the  worst of it.    The day I came down with it I recommended that he get   some  sort of anti viral immediately.  He chose instead to  make use of  the amply  stocked herb cabinet .  One tea blend  in particular seemed to be especially helpful for both of us.  We made a blend of echinacea, elderberry, ginger and  orange peel.  Made with lemon and honey it was also very tasty.  We alternated between that and a  horehound  and willow leaf blend  that  helped  with all the breathing  symptoms.  Fortunately  Jimmy didn't get knocked to the ground by the flu.  We like to think it was our medicinal  herb use but who knows.  He felt well enough to make a few pho runs.  We also depleted  the  soups and broths  in the freezer.    We didn't starve and we made it through  but good lord that was  awful.   My Dad tells me  every year to get a flu shot and every year I say the same thing..."I don't need one. I never get sick"      Well, Dad wins this one. Next year I'm getting the shot.  I cant afford to lose  three weeks of my life in a feverish blur.       
One of my biggest complaints  about this past illness was that there wasn't any  Adam Sandler on Netflix .  I love Adam Sandler movies when I don't feel good  and  none were to be had this  flu season .  Instead I mindlessly watched  everything Netflix had to offer on the British royal family.  I now know way more than I ever wanted to about how tragic and painful it is to be one of the  British royals.   And I still  don't care.  Most of the dresses were  really pretty though.  I will say this for the royals..... They make nice eye candy .  Especially  when you have the flu. 
The flu season this year has definitely been a  group experience.  Jimmy had to cancel an appointment  with his mechanic  to get the truck fixed and when he called to rescheduled  the mechanic had the flu.  Same thing happened  with  the   artist who is  doing the  the graphics  and  packaging for Jimmy's  topical.     I'm going to call January 2018...... Fun with epidemics.

real writer envy, warholian 15, creative nail chewing, I gotta finish this.

I don't really have anything to say right now. I'm just  posting  so they  wont shut down my account.  All of my writing energy is going into finishing a project I started  6 years ago.    My writer friends  are probably rolling their eyes at me  right now but I freely admit that I'm not a writer. I can write. I know how. I'm just not  driven to do it  like my writer friends.  The only time I write is when I have something to say/communicate.   Right now I am trying to communicate  the culmination of 6 years of  research.  Criminy....the research was easy and fun compared to this. I have  written and rewritten and written again and I'm still unsatisfied  with what  I  have .  Here is a serious question to my writer friends.  What do you do when the story is bigger than you. Bigger than your talent, bigger than your ability to control the medium you are presenting  it in?  What do you do when the depth and scope of what you are trying to achieve is just beyond your reach?   I begin to  think that maybe asking accomplished writers for  advice  wont help. I mean... real writers  have spent their  lives honing their  craft and here I am trying to jump to their level in a single  superhuman leap.  
I really need to finish this thing. Its sapping all of my creative strength.  I  haven't painted  or printed or sculpted or done a single bit of theater since I started  the writing portion of this project.  It is a humbling experience.
One of the things  I learned about myself years ago is that I'm good at whatever I do.  That sounds arrogant in the first reading but  the drawback of being  'good' at whatever I do is that I am not and never will be  'great' at anything.  I've accepted that.  Its a blessing and a curse at the same time.  Living in a world above mediocrity and below  genius  has been satisfying enough to keep me going.  I just assumed that I would be  good enough to  handle this project.  My expectations  were medium. I expected that I would research it, write it  and then move on. I  had no expectations of being declared a  great American writer or that history would remember me  for this one great story but, I did expect that it would be good or at least, good enough.   But, It's not and  I'm not and I'm way over my head here.
So, there you have the reason  for an absence of cutesy blogging about chickens, homemade soap, painting and diy projects.     I miss painting. But I know if I go down in the studio  I will NEVER get this story done so I will stubbornly persevere until it is finished  for  better or worse.
It is completely necessary for me to hold on to past glories  right now so,  here is a little something I am holding onto (and waving around)   just to prove to myself  that I can finish it (because I've done it before).  Feral Jane  sent this to remind me  of a minor success  because she knows  about the  angst that this project is  causing me.   She sent me a screen shot of my painting that CBS bought  for the set  on Hawaii Five  O.    Right now I'm hanging on to my Warholian 15 minutes by what's left of my creative  fingernails.

Here is  the painting

Here is the painting  in a scene from Hawaii Five O