Web bots , tipping point, apocalypse, zombie lessons, RPG value, clif high, hard copy library, backyard chickens, TEOTWAWKI

Clif High of halfpasthuman.com was giving an interview yesterday  on an internet underground radio station about the latest web bot predictions. Chilling at best.  I was involved in one of the most daunting tasks in our household......  retrieving and re casing all the DVD's and CD's we own.  When I was done we only had  about 15 DVD cases that were minus their innards. Fortunately Jimmy could account for all but one when  he got home. The CD's? Now that's a different story, Between 2 cars, the studio,the computer room, the living room and Jimmy's  shuttle/solarium  ....... god knows where everything is. But I will NOT  stop until every piece is accounted for and organised.  Even if that means  a pile for
'cant find the case" and a pile for  'Damn I really liked that CD... where is it?"  I worked on this tedious but needful process for a good 6 hours before I rolled over on the floor and gave in to pure 'where is waldo ' exhaustion.  But I digress....... I was listening to Clif throughout this entire process and in an attempt to distract myself enough   from the tedium and frustratration  of the chore to keep going I made lists in my head of all the things I have done that will save us  from clif's coming TEOTWAWKI apocalypse.

Yes Clif,  I was listening  when you said either way  the web bots are offline for a while whether you are right or wrong because  the web bots are no longer a hidden observer.  So I feel safe referencing the bots.  I've been reading the bots since they first came on line waaaaay back.  And I understood  from the beginning  that referencing them would create a feedback loop and compromise future runs..... At the very least, magnifying the  linguistic  values of any possible  event or on the major downside  creating totally  fictional scenarios  that build on themselves by virtue of participation like the classic children's game of sitting in a circle and whispering something to the first person  and watching how it changes from the original speaker to the end announcer.  That said I now feel at liberty to blog about it  since you said you were done for a while.

Now , while I really hope we will get  the equivalent version of 'webbots lite'  due to the aforementioned  feedback loop.... Clif has had a great record for accuracy. 
I will be the first to admit that this latest prediction has made me a little nervous and my first response was OMG ... But then in true Frankie Fashion I resigned myself to the idea that everything was going to go to shit so I better  have a plan.
I did the    'what do I have.... what do I need' list thing.

Fortunately I have been living with Jimmy's Zombie Apocalypse obsession for a very long time and have on several occasions turned it to my advantage.  Like the time I convinced him we needed a high quality dutch oven to survive the zombie days. Or when I explained to him that chickens would be a great subsistence food source   and alarm system..  You get the picture?
By indulging his favorite RPG on a real life scale, we are actually pretty prepared for a run of  'jesus this sucks!'
We have a three months supply of basic food stuffs: flour,sugar,salt , baking powder,yeast,cooking oil,  canned milk and so forth.
We have  a winters supply of canned goods.
We have  a pretty decent winter garden of high vitamin brassicas and hardy greens
We got chickens and eggs,
We have jars and jars of herbs, spices  and medicinals and sturdy resources for more
We have classic hand tools and my great grandmother's treadle machine
four cases of candles left over from my neo hippie commune days
Enough homemade wine and other assorted hooches to take the edge off for years (and to barter for the toilet paper we are going to need)
A seed bank
a winters supply of firewood
a garage full of odds and ends of needful things.
But the best resource we have is a library of books we have actively collected over the years on DIY ....
books on gardening, soapmaking, medicinals, animal husbandry,sewing, canning, cooking, carpentry, distilling (gonna come in handy when the water supply is tainted).  Any classic home art you can think of and all from pre-electricity experts.   When we were collecting all these ... plenty of folks laughed and made commentary of the availability of info on the internet (some folks are not going to adjust well to being flung into the dark ages if clif is right)
If Clif is wrong.... Whats all this for?   Add  a little electricity, a great partner to share all this with and you get a pretty high quality of life.  So, thanks for the heads up clif  but even if  TEOTWAWKI never comes to pass in a lightening flash.... Jimmy and I are going to keep the Artisan Lifestyle alive.

Artisan Lifestyle,harvest,canning,teotwawki,sewing, herbs,winter garden,satan spawn, killing chickens, art,video games

12 more jars of spiced pluot jam went on the shelf yesterday. All made with a 1924 recipe by Ida Bailey Allen. Its end of the season so I have found myself prowling around the garden looking for just one more item too can or preserve in some fashion. I have some green tomatoes left out there and two potato plants that are still vining. After all the moaning and groaning about too much work .. now that it is slowing down, I miss it.
Gotta have a chat with Jimmy about this one.... He whacked poor harelip before the 2 new hens started laying and now for the first time in 2 years I dont have enough eggs to do what I need to do. So.. next time... he has to wait until the new girls are trained up and working steady on their own before he can put heads on the chopping block. The two new girls? They are doing better. The satan spawn has calmed down and is actually looking out for the shy one. The oldsters are still cranky but at least they are letting the little one eat now. Satans spawn is showing signs of laying in about two weeks. They should be able to free range in the back yard by the end of next week. We need to get a fence around the winter garden first.
I think we may be ready for winter. We stacked a cord of split wood last week and got it covered. Jimmy bought me a dutch oven for the odd occasion when the electricity goes out. The Good Typist brought me sourdough starter from her trip to San Francisco. We have a winter garden with spinach,collards, red sails lettuce, broccolli and brussels sprouts and carrots. Yep lots o brassicas. Which means we will not be vitamin deficient... but probably pretty gassy .... Oh and the house will smell like ass every time I cook. I'll have to make bread everyday just to cover the stinky cabbage-y smell! I'll miss the aroma of drying herbs in the house and fresh chopped basil and cilantro but hey its winter and we are trying to live pre wwII. We are going to have to buy potatoes this winter cuz we ate 'em as soon as they were big enough to dig out of the ground. Fresh potatoes, for those of you who have never had them are a sweet and creamy delight that need no flavor enhancers. Next year we are planting twice as many. (We had 6 plants this year).
To wrap this up .... Here is the inventory of everything we have produced ourselves so far. Red wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar, wine and cordials. (Should the end of the world suddenly be upon us....... We have enough booze to have a teotwawki party for all our friends and family and a few strangers. Yes, it IS our intent to meet the 'end' slobbering drunk and singing show tunes.) Next, we have all the herbs we will need for a year. Parsely,sage,rosemary,tyme,oregano,tarragon,majorum,garlic,dill,hot red peppers,basil and coriander.
Home canned foods ... Jams,Jellies, pickles (hot, dill and bread and butter) Chow-chow (southerners will get that one). Pickled beets, spinach, tomatoes, tomatoe sauce, green beens,red cabbage.
Things hanging in the garage to cure or dry, Beans,onions, squash, peppers,garlic,potatoes.
In another month we will have all the eggs we need.
Things we will need to buy in bulk next week:sugar,salt,flour, black pepper, cooking oil.
Things we will need to buy a couple of times a month.. cuz we dont have the means to make it ourselves (yet): Milk,cream,butter, cheese (notice the missing cow theme?) meat products.
Of course there are things we will buy throughout the year that are on the want ..not need... list: Jimmys peanut butter, my chocolate, icecream, bananas and other fruits.
Thats about it on the gardening,harvesting,preserving end.... Next on our list is the indoors for the winter stuff.
This year I am dragging out the sewing machine and I am going to make some simple household items... like pot holders... a very needful item when cooking with cast iron, a couple of aprons cuz all this cooking from scratch really is messy. Jimmy wants me to make him a couple of shirts. So, I'm gonna do it.... But since I'm doing the work I get to do it my way. I'm gonna make him a couple of piratey,romantic, puffy sleeve, lace-up the front shirts just like the guys on the front covers of historical romances have on. He is after all MY romantic hero! And I think he will look much sexier on the couch, playing video games, in a romantic shirt!
I have lots o paintings to work on... Too bad NOBODY is buying art right now. So, I have to do some marketing to do.