Monday, January 23, 2017

WANTED female predator,badass attitude required

On the nature of loss.  Back in August  we had to lay to rest, our cat, Drusilla. She was 16 and had led a satisfying, secure, and adventurous life.    For 16 years  she lived with us, walked  beside us  and  fulfilled her  role admirably.   Dru was never a cuddly kitty.  She  was often cranky and demanding,  sometimes...  scratchy and bitey.  We had to warn visitors  not to 'pet' her when  she appeared  and purred at them while rubbing herself on their legs and giving them her 'come hither'  big eyes.   "Its a trap!" we would exclaim  as they would attempt to  reciprocate her 'affection'.  Those who heeded our warnings  were safe , those who  did not... required topical   antibiotic  cream and  bandaids.   Her tolerance of other people in her space was limited. Her tolerance of other animals      Even though I told him not too, one of the  neighbors brought his well trained  Lab to the house for a visit.  Drusilla  tolerated that for all of five minutes before she sliced his nose open.  Dogs , other cats, random visitors, rats, mice, birds...she was deadly.
When the  gods deposited  a second cat in our lives ( a teeny weeny 4 week old, abandoned  baby of a feral  wood cat) , I was determined that  he would be  a sweet , gentle addition to our household.   He is.  He is gentle and kind . He is sweet beyond words. He is the best companion any one could ever hope for.  There is not a violent bone in his body.  We socialized all the predator out of him.  And... he is  useless.   Let me explain.
Our Drusilla passed  in the middle of August.  Over the holidays  I discovered  mice had moved in under the kitchen stove  and had used the insulation from said stove to  build a lovely soft bed  in preparation for  starting a family.   It was quite  the  mouse mcmansion and I was horrified. I spent one entire  day  stripping and sterilizing  the stove and   the rest of the kitchen. I pulled everything from every cabinet looking for mouse sign.  I didn't find any sign of vermin activity  anywhere except under the nice warm stove but, I scrubbed everything anyway.  I  put out  those boxy,  safety  mouse traps and waited. Two nights later I finally  heard the snap.  I looked over at the sweetest  cat in the world  who was completely unconcerned  and content to keep  dozing on the couch.  He barely acknowledged the snapping of the trap.     That kind of S#%* would never be tolerated on Drusillas watch.
I will be buying a new  stove this week or next.  I was already  looking at replacing the ancient appliance, that came with the house,  sometime over 2017.  The discovery  that the insulation has been   disturbed and some of it removed has  simply moved the timeline up...considerably.
Along with the new stove I will  looking  for  a new cat.  The sweet cat gets to stay but he will have to accept a new addition.   Because we live on a swamp, out in the woods (sort of) we are always going to be challenged  with keeping vermin out of the house and barn.   I will be keeping an eye on the spring crop of kittens. I  will not be looking for a sweet cuddly companion. I will be looking for a rowdy, scratchy, bitey, killing machine.   The first female badass, bad attitude, warrior queen that crosses my path will get a grateful forever home with me.  She doesn't need to love me. She just needs to do  her job.
And before you get all animal rights, no animal slavery ....on me.  Every soul on the property has a job. No one gets a free ride.  Jimmy and I pay the mortgage, the chickens lay eggs, the duck decimates the slugs so the lettuce will grow unimpeded,  the sweet cat is the mediator and the dog is in charge of security.  Everyone contributes in exchange for   food and nice warm shelter. 


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