My heart swells at the thought of a budding new conspiracy. The gulf of Aden Vortex has shown up just in time... when we are all exhausted from talking about which friend or neighbor has lost their job or house or is sick and cant go to the doctor because they have no health insurance. We are all tired of being afraid of losing our jobs and homes. We are tired of being afraid that our food is tainted. We are sick of knowing that TSA is a giant step forward in a police state and there is not a damn thing we can do about it. Every step we take, every choice we make is being tracked by the bank cards we use , the internet sites we visit, the GPS in our cars and phones. We're Screwed! .... We KNOW it! We REALLY know it....... So can we talk about something silly and completely unreal for a moment? Can we take a trip back to the 90's when chupacabra, crop circles, the 2nd shooter, cattle mutilations, Elvis faked his death and alien abductions were all hot topics ..... not because we are gullible idiots but because life wasn't that bad and we had time and energy and resources to dedicate to contemplating a good mystery. Our 'what if' scenarios didn't include how to make a cardboard box waterproof under a bridge or figuring out how to get black market antibiotics for a case of bronchitis.... because a visit to a doctor costs a weeks wages for the simplest malady. So for just a few moments lets get in the way back machine and pretend like the most pressing topic of the moment is 'what is going on in the gulf" The Gulf of Aden ...not the tragedy and extinction level event caused by BP in the gulf of Mexico.
The Gulf of Aden Vortex. So......... this magnetic vortex anomaly thingy, showed up in the Gulf of Aden in 2000, discovered by 'scientists' (of course it was discovered by scientists cus a camel herder with 2 wives and 16 kids would have just said to his camels 'huh that's wierd....wonder whats for dinner?' and wandered home with a good story to tell.) Story goes that it remained relatively stable until the web bots tipping point and then became very active even to causing anomalous earthquake swarms (possibly triggering the volcanic activity in Indonesia and even a few shakes in Yellowstone). Supposedly all the ships in the gulf of Aden, sent there to discourage piracy and representing almost every country in the world, are really there to observe the phenomena and to greet or battle whatever comes through the vortex, whether its aliens, time travelers or other dimensional demons or in one theory the return of the original god RA (who, in this theory, was a girl). It is said that wikileaks hold the classified info on all this and the guy is threatening to release it to the internet. WELL HURRY UP ALREADY. So more information is due to be released. In the mean time , speculation is rampant on what it is. My favorite ....of course.... is that it is a real life honest to god .... STARGATE! We stargate fans are so gasping for breath desperate for some gate action after the ending of SGA and SG-1 and the massive failure of SGU to provide us with adventure, heroism and other worldly ...worlds.... that we have decided to just build our own gate, Cuz that's what Sam and Rodney and Jack would do, if they were in our situation.
The collective mythos around this seems to be that the countries in attendance of this birth of new conspiracy are just as confused and befuddled as we are. None knows what this thing really is or what it is gonna do. Which is, I believe, a projection of the archetype of chaos. We the little people who have been swirling helplessly, down the vortex of economic and constitutional destruction for the last few years are creating a scenario in which the TBTB are getting a taste of their own (making up words again here) SUCKAGE!
We are just going to have to wait and see which aliens come through the vortex...... UFO's have been sighted in the area ...(sort of) , The colored swirls that have been sighted in the night sky across the world in the last few months have been attributed to it.. And someone started an internet babble about a 20,000 year old prophecy of some kind of 'earth gaurdian' coming through to come to the rescue. (more likely coming through to harvest the human cattle they seeded that are now 7 billion strong and decimating the grazing lands). The prophecy is about an 'earth gaurdian'... not a 'people gaurdian'. We are the biggest problem this planet has right now. So the 'gaurdien' is coming to do WHAT?.... Think it through people!
So, all that said.... here is my two cents.... IF ....and its a really big IF there really is some sort of magnetic, swirley, sucky, thingy in the Gulf of Aden....WE DID IT. With our satellites and cell phones and air conditioners and tvs and gps , jets, HAARP, radar ,CERN, wi-fi and gazillion other ways we have screwed with the natural world, we did it. This thing...if its real, screams physics experiment gone horribly wrong. Which brings us back to hubris. But Hubris is a topic for another day. I was going to link to all the GOAV sites but then I decided that if you care... you can google it like I did.
Tommorrow I have a great recipe for Ida Baileys Apple Fritters. ALL the boys in the neighborhood loved these.