Friday, September 18, 2009

Suicide Birthday, wine, tapas, texting ,email, phone calls, presents

So... Yesterday was my birthday. It was a big one ending in zero. I am too vain to announce to world what the first number was. Anyway... at the wise old age of 19 I decided that I was going to kill myself on this date because if I EVER reached this milestone it would all be over anyway. So , my grand plan for this milestone day was to stay in bed, feel sorry for myself and swig a bottle of patron until my very very old kidneys just stopped working... or my liver exploded...... or I choked to death on my own bile. Ahhhhh, the best laid plans of mice and........ What I had totally forgotten in my pity-fest was that I have spent all these years building a circle of love and fun. The first text arrived at 5:55 am , then a flood of emails and phone calls ensued followed by Jimmy coming home early huffing and puffing and turning red in the face with the weight of a delightful birthday gift. Then It was a phone call from a casting company offering me an extra position for a commercial, another email inquiring about a painting and then Jimmy grabbed the keys and we went to our favorite wine shop and bistro where we proceeded to annoy the obviously busy owners with wine tasting, extra orders for more tapas plates, loud drunken converstion about buying 15 acres and getting a goat and 40 chickens and insisting on getting a taste of 6 different bottles of wine before decided to bring home a half a case +1. Then back home again where we built a roaring fire in the backyard and opened two more bottles of wine with the assist of neighbors who wandered over bearing a bottle and flowers. These were brave souls considering I had warned everyone to stay away on this darkest of days...... lest they interfere with my pity-fest. They took off their shoes and walked across the hot coals of my (seriously diminished) despair to drink and loudly discuss religious history while their ears were pounded by the sound track of 'Wicked'. Being workin' folk with jobs they stayed for a couple of hours and then took themselves off to their beds and Jimmy and I stripped and crawled into the hot tub under the obliging stars. When more relaxed,well fed and buzzed than any humans in history have a right to be, we staggered into the house pausing long enough to put the empty wine bottles in the recycle bin and bring the flowers into the house before falling in to bed and snuggling under 500 thread count sheets and an airy warm down comforter. Curled around each other I realized.... "OOps... I forgot to kill myself"...... Oh well I'll do it tommorrow.


  1. Okay, I'll say it--I've tried to be supportive of your Day of Gloom plans, but I'm GLAD--yes, GLAD, that it turned out all happy for you anyway. I sort of had a feeling it would, somehow, but I didn't want to spoil your fun by saying so. ;) Love ya, hon!

  2. Harrumph!... What kind of a cruel world do we live in when a person cant feel sorry for themselves... with a perfectly good reason!
    I'm glad it turned out well too... cuz I'm kind of a coward!